From my experience, speaking with your neighbor can only make things worse (in the USA), even if you are friendly and nice about it. People will either get very defensive, deny there is a problem, or they will pretend to be cool with it and when you are gone they'll make the noise even worse. Also, if the people making the noise are over 18, you shouldn't have to speak to them about it in the first place. People know when they are being obnoxious. So it's painfully obvious that they already know they are being noisy. These are the type of people whose parents never disciplined them and/or always relied on mommy and daddy to speak to them about their behavior.
Another thing is, with violent crimes skyrocketing these days, why should we place ourselves in potential danger by going next door and knocking on the door of a stranger in the first place? I might not even know these people. It is also a common misconception that everyone is friends with their neighbors when that is not realistic. Most people have a circle of friends, but most the time they live elsewhere as people meet at various places. So, the stranger factor plays a big role in who your neighbors are. Also sometimes they don't even answer their door.
For example, this one time I went to a lady's house to ask her if she could do anything about her dogs barking day and night. Her front door was open and the glass door was shut. She was obviously home but didn't answer the door, as not two but four dogs were barking at the glass. So I left a note. Later on, she yelled at me about how I "hid behind a note and should have spoken to her face to face." and that "If I waited until she got home we could talk face to face". It was apparent that she was home but was the one hiding. So, my point is that the there are often games being played.
Once up at UMaine Orono, some rich kid was making noise all night long so I spoke to him. As it turns out, he got worse with his noise and the resident director and resident assistant turned a blind eye to him. This is because universities such as UMaine-Orono often play favorites to certain groups of people, making the rules unfair in the dormitories. Even though I had 9 a.m. classes and was trying to sleep at 1 a.m. on a school night, it didn't matter to this rich brat (actually he was an older non- traditional student) and it apparently didn't matter to Umaine, which only cared about money. This guy could pick what classes he needed so he could optimize his party time. Even though he did well in school, it's because he was snorting adderall and Ritalin constantly and getting special attention from professors and other instructors.
So, you see, speaking to people isn't always the way to go, nor is using the rules set by your landlord or school. I believe that most of the time, you need to use noise ordinance laws set by your town to stop it. You need to find a local agency, law enforcement, or even a lawyer to speak on your behalf. This is for threr main reasons in this day and age: 1. People simply aren't as smart or mature as they used to be 40 years ago (this is a statistical fact in the USA, and not just something I am making up). 2. Landlords, universities, and other places that have housing can and will follow their greed and not necessarily what is right, they are often hypocrites about their own rules. 3. Statistics show that people are extremely violent and short tempered these days, so speaking to a neighbor (specially if you don't know them) can result in a dangerous situation.
For example, in the news, Orono, Maine, as well as nearby Bangor, Maine are two of the cities in the east coast hit hardest by bath salts use, a drug that causes extreme paranoia, delusions and even psychotic behavior. Now most people who use such drugs are usually loud party animals like college students, who, by the way, are most likely drunk. Even if you are nice to these people, what you say to them can spark a fit of rage. Most likely, if it's after midnight on a week night and someone has got loud music on, or is slamming doors all night, or is making a lot of other noise is usually partying. It's simply not safe to speak to someone like that.
For example, a few years ago in Old Town Maine near UMaine Orono, a 50 year old man went next door to ask some college kids to keep the noise down and was beaten up badly by two college guys. One of their girlfriends was reported to have yelled, "kill him.” Another situation I heard about in Bangor was when a woman was home on vacation and her neighbor was making a lot of noise. After she asked him to keep it down, he then began to stalk her and steal her mail. Apparently, he was an unemployed vet in his 30s suffering from PTSD and other mental disorders, which would explain why he was home during the middle of the day and not at work.
So you clearly see the modern day dangerous of knocking on someone's door. Besides, like I said, people know when they are being noisy, and should need speaking to. It would be one thing if they are doing cleaning or house repairs but a lot of times it's just immature people being immature. These are people who think in their minds that they have a right to be obnoxious until someone complains and even then, they still won't stop.
One last thing: Statistics show that both maturity levels and test scores have dropped in the USA over the last 40 years to an all time low. Also, the US population has increased dramatically. This technically means that the dumb immature people outnumber the smart ones. So, you have more of a chance of being in a bad/dangerous situation with your neighbor these days. That is why we need laws to help protect the peace.
Now all that said, I don't want people to whisper all the time or stay quiet 100 percent of the time because I never said that. But there are times of the day when it's important to be quiet and respectful. There was a day and age when people automatically did this on their own. Now, I strongly believe that we need noise ordinances more than ever. And if people see that as a form of harassment, I think they are just showing their immaturity and insecurity as adults. - JulieS